i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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