Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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