He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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