that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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