I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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