Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
