dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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