yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
