I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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