Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize