We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
