no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
