oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
