i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My Higher Power is John Stamos
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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