i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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