When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
zippers are such a cool invention
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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