you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
