He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
