His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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