Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize