I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i drank out of a bidet.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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