at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize