I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
