part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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