Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
