dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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