i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
