The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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