if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
