Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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