ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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