I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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