no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
