ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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