1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
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Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
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I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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