Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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