I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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