I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
