community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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