Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My feet surprised me
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