love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
