went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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