no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
