I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my sisters under your porch take her home
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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