Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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