3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They took my balls.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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