He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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