im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
