Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
