I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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