Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
