Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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