if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
