The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
