evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
