so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
