in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
