She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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