he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't put those talents on a resume
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
